An Astounding Truth About Confidence I Wish I Had Known Years Ago

Confidence isn’t a state, inborn trait, or mindset

Being bullied in middle school morphed me into a college bully.

It was my form of redemption. In my head, my bullies had been the confident “alphas” so I gloated every time I picked on someone weaker.

Trying to act macho, I’d shit-talk, trigger senseless fights, and stir up drama.

Not to mention strutting around with my chest and head flared.

But weirdly, I felt way worse as a bully than I ever had while being bullied.

A string of experiences made me realize putting others down wasn’t the hallmark of confidence. What was it then?

Trying “Act confident and you’ll be” didn’t work. Nor did “Observe and mimic confident people”.

Don’t even bring up “Just be yourself” — that’s the most wishful, least helpful bit of advice out there.

Only now, years of experiences and introspection later, have I cracked the enigma of true confidence.